I’m not a Performing Pee Hound

Doing the toilet like a performing fountain is not my idea of fun, especially when I don’t need to and have an abundant supply of yummy chicken.

Post Updated

Doing the toilet is something I do and own and just like you humans there is nothing more satisfying than letting one go. I think the question on his mind is where?  but in my mind I’d like the self respect to do it where ever I want. …the floor is mine, mine my precious… and as long as I’m not doing it in my bed I’m completely fine with it where ever …my precious… I do my business.

We have an ongoing negotiation as to what’s expected of who for however much chicken I can get. I’m generally happy about it and we’re getting into a routine. I mean I’ve done some free ones on the mat when he wasn’t looking.

Him on the other hand, well he seems to have an issue with it. He doesn’t say anything but I know that when that mop and Dettol come out there will be no chicken when the calm assertive sterilisation process has been completed. I don’t mind peeing on the mat, in fact I love the fact that I get some chicken so nine times out of ten I’m bang on and then sitting waiting for my reward.

Toilet Training a puppy is easyHere’s my problem, we’re out on the balcony and he’s doing his Jedi, look me in the eye stunt (anything for chicken). He thinks I’m too distracted and wont listen to him on the balcony. I mean would you? there’s lots of plants to chew and stuff that would make a rat spew like dead flowers and dirt but I love it …gotta taste those smells… So we’re doing the Jedi thing, and I’m ignoring his distractions and giving him the puppy Yoda eye contact and I don’t know if it was something I did but all of a sudden we were racing back to the kitchen and he show’s me the mat. I looked up at him and thought …you have got to be kidding I was doing fine on the chicken front before you make me do a pee…it’s my precious… So I’ve decided not to pee on the mat, in fact I thought I got away with a sly one on the kitchen tiles but no matter, he knows that I aint a performing pee hound especially when the chicken was on full flow for easy tricks.

Ted-with-a-bowling-pinSo I’m thinking about this one and gonna have a sleep, I’ve a funny feeling he is thinking about it and I wonder what half baked concept he’ll come up with next. Still nine out of ten pees end up on the mat and about half my poo’s so I’m doing not bad and a whole lot better than when I arrived a couple of weeks ago. He must be doing something right …no, it’s my precious…

…chew the string…

Post Update…. I’ve had my sleep and I’ve got to tell you this. So I wakes up and tries the old mind trick …these are not the drones you are looking for…ermm…it’s cool for me to pee anywhere… and that didn’t work so I thought I may as well go for more chicken and pee’d on the mat when he jumps up well pleased with me and treated me by taking me onto the balcony. All thoughts of chicken disappeared and I got to taste some of the smells and then later we did the Jedi stuff which meant I got chicken anyway.

So we went back inside and I thought I would reward him with a poo in the middle of the mat and you know what I got for that? I got to explore his office and he brought in a blanket so was super cool.

And yes it was super excited and I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I ran through to the kitchen and pee’d on the mat.

I’m cool and though he’s a tough cookie to break but I think I’m training him well. I’ve made it into the office on my blanket with a toy lol

Author: Ted Chewstring

I was born on the 27th of July 2015 at ten to ten in the evening. I have four brothers and four sisters, my mum's name is Piper and my gran's name was Cara. I now live with Derek in Edinburgh, Scotland and we are Thunder Buddies for life. I can sit, lie down, stay, ignore the food, look at me, touch a hand and my favourite is I can play fetch. I love chicken and will do anything for it. I love to chew string

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