Toilet Training Confusion

How to toilet training puppies

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Wow this outside stuff is amazing and I can smell so many other dogs on the ground but my toilet is in the kitchen …where’s the chicken mat?… 

I had a brilliant two hour walk and I couldn’t wait to get home for a pee on my chicken mat even though I did do a couple of my tiny squirts when I was out, you know? Testing the water so to speak and got great treats but you know I’m a creature of habit …chew the string…

Anyway’s the chicken mat has gone and he’s put the lead in it’s place. I lay down and looked at it and to be honest he’s confused me…does he want me to pee on the lead? And to be fair I don’t get the chance to pee in the kitchen now cos he carry’s me down the four flights of stairs to the front door when I wake up, after play time and after eating. It’s getting him fit because between me and you he’s a bit of a dumpling and I’m wondering if he’ll be able to keep up once my puppy legs have grown up. …chase the ball…

So I’m pacing around the lead looking at it and I went to my bed, now normally I’d let one go whether the chicken mat is there or not, and he thought it was great but you know I like being able to wake up and go to the chicken mat so I’m thinking and looking at the lead, which I love cos it means outside …where’s the other dogs… and it’s confusing. Humans!

He say’s it’s a good thing I’m thinking about it because if I decide to do it for myself it’s a million times better than if he made me do it with force and anger. Old school dog discipline I think they call it now and it is out dated and the best way to teach a dog is to give information and let us decide for ourselves. We know what side our chicken is buttered on.

So do i pee on the floor and get the fun of watching him clean it? or do I ask for the lead to go outside where I get …chicken chicken chicken… lots of praise and treats? He let me decide between the floor and the chicken mat and now it’s the floor or outside …my precious…let me pee where I want…

I’m gonna sleep on it and hope he takes me out before this poo falls out as warm steaming revenge!


Well I didn’t sleep long, it was more of a daydream and I got up had a look at the lead and went over to him, sat down and gave him a “I’m distressed look” just a look, no barking or whimpering, just the look and he took me downstairs where I dropped off a log for his poop bags.

I think I’m getting it but …where’s the chicken mat…


Author: Ted Chewstring

I was born on the 27th of July 2015 at ten to ten in the evening. I have four brothers and four sisters, my mum's name is Piper and my gran's name was Cara. I now live with Derek in Edinburgh, Scotland and we are Thunder Buddies for life. I can sit, lie down, stay, ignore the food, look at me, touch a hand and my favourite is I can play fetch. I love chicken and will do anything for it. I love to chew string

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